


NOT YET

by TheOQAuthor



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, OQ Prompt Party 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 07:43:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14039472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOQAuthor/pseuds/TheOQAuthor





	NOT YET

Just thinking about it made her shiver; getting used to having the whole bed for her was one thing, or not waking up by his snores. She could handle those little details, it was as if he was about to come back from hunting any moment. Visiting his grave, however, was another thing. Healing takes time or so they say. Actually, she hasn’t thought about it considering everything she’s been through lately.

  
Rolling to the other side of the bed, trying unsuccessfully to find the last scent of the forest, her mind wanders lost in the idea of visiting him. It’s been two months, she should be ready by now. She isn’t. After all, she hasn’t even had the time to process it all. She just couldn’t leave Storybrooke in the hands of Emma Swan her pirate and the two idiots. True that they were the heroes but the town was hers and she was no giving it up to anyone, not Hyde not the Queen not the Black Fairy, without a fight.

  
The cold floor in contact with her feet made her come back to reality, realising she was doing it, there was no come back. Regina decided she’d wear that crimson dress he loved so much even thought Hades said his should was obliterated, she’d like to think he’s watching over her from somewhere.

  
Regina doesn’t use magic, it would be quicker but she needs that time to process what she’s finally about to do. Once she’s ready, she sets off to her vault - she knows deep down that’s not where she’s going but she never liked the word cemetery - taking long steps but in a lazy peace taking some more time to stop herself from running away. Not this time.

  
The place is dark and lonely, Regina wonders how some people find comforting spending time in there just staring at some cold stone where a name is the only reminding of the person once loved, now gone. Anyway, she tries because despite thinking it won’t work, she needs to let go all the feelings that weight her down.

  
“Hi” only a whisper comes out, she’s been holding onto her emotions for so long she doesn’t know hot to begin. “What am I supposed to do now?”

  
Without even thinking, her right hand caresses for the lion carved in his grave letting a chuckle escape her mouth. For a few seconds, Regina just stands there looking for the right words until she reads the name of the person who owns that grave: Robin Hood. It’s at that moment she throws all caution to the wind, it’s her soulmate who she’s trying to talk to, there’s no such as “the right words”

  
“I miss you” her voice is low and broken. “You insufferable thief…Of course, you had to be the hero. Robin Hood a man with honor.” Regina feels a few tears down her face.  
“I hate you…I hate that you left me” she knows is selfish to be mad at him for saving her life. “Actually, I hate that I love you”

  
Those words slipped out of her mouth even before she could process them. Glancing around and making sure no one heard her as if she had just confessed a crime, she continues.

  
“I did love you..I...I still do” a small smile appears on her face “And I think I’ll always do. I was just to coward to admit it but…I’m sorry” tears are uncontrollable at this point so she just takes a moment to calm herself, or at least trying.

  
“I…don’t know what to do Robin” she finally admits aloud. “Time doesn’t seem to help and neither does revenge…I..I just want you back..”

  
Regina wants to tell him, she wants to yell at him for leaving after promising her his future. She wants him to know how much she loved his dimples, how much she misses that smile of his or how bad she liked his sassy attitude. However, there are some things she just can't say even if he’s not really there listening to her, maybe this is just who she is.

  
Regina Mills is a tough woman, she takes her pain and turns it into strength. She’s not an open book, she never liked to, she just bottles up her emotions and keeps on going. But tonight, tonight is not one of those nights so she just allows herself to stay there for a while longer letting the tears roll free down her face. Only for tonight, she allows herself to feel because, after all, she deserves to. When the last whimpers left her mouth, she stands up wiping her tears and tightening her clothes. Taking a deep breath Regina glances at the place twice and, before leaving, whispers to Robin and only to him.

  
“I’m not ready let you go. Not yet. I don't think I'll ever be”


End file.
